


A Summoner's Anguish

by WindyOakes



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Sad, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 16:02:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17186072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WindyOakes/pseuds/WindyOakes
Summary: Alfonse has died in battle and all the Summoner can think about is him. But she won't admit that she's hurting. People are starting to notice her hurt and tell her to write a letter to him. However, she doesn't think that it will help. This is that letter to him.





	A Summoner's Anguish

Dear Alfonse,

Sharena and the others thought it would be a good idea for me to write you this letter so I could get my emotions out in a healthy way. Apparently, I haven’t been able to let go when it comes to your death. I haven’t cried by myself or taken the time to mourn properly or just lie in bed for the whole day. I continue to keep myself busy everyday so that I could forget…everything.

To be honest, I don’t think this letter thing is going to work. It’s not like you’ll ever see this anyway, so why should I even bother. Besides I’m the Summoner and I face trials and tribulations every day. People die in front of me so many times it’s hard to keep track. So…so why should one more death stop me from doing what I do best? I need to be the face of this army and the Order of Heroes even if I am breaking on the inside. The outside world can’t know that I am shaking on the inside. They just can’t… 

How about I start by telling you of what our day has been like. Sharena and I counted the weapons and we made sure that all of the heroes were well rested. Robin helped me with my next strategy and Chrom helped with drawing a few maps. However, I noticed that during the time that I was with them, they were each giving me a critical look as if I was broken in some way. They had this certain type of pity in their eyes that I was not familiar to or welcomed to. At all.

I questioned them on what they were staring at and they told me that I had tears in my eyes. I put my hands up to my face only to bring back the tears with them. By that time Sharena and Anna both had walked in and looked at the tears spilling onto my cheeks. I was clearly inconsolable, but I told them I was fine anyway and I quickly wiped the tears away. But they didn’t believe me and told me to write this letter. That’s what brought me here. 

This is all so stupid! Why am I writing a letter to you if I’ll never get you back?! 

I’ll never be able to see you again or hold you in my arms or kiss you gently on each cheek. I’ll never get back those moments where we would end up dancing in the chambers or accidentally making out in the strategy room. I won’t be able to tell you how absolutely magnificent you are when you’re feeling down or have your comfort when all I need is someone to truly understand what I’m saying. I’ll never be able to see you…ever again. You’re gone and I can’t get you back and it pains me every day to have to realize that over and over again when I wake up in the morning to an empty bed.

As I’m starting to cry, I am finally realizing how broken I am on the inside. Your death was one of the worst I have ever experienced in my life. It felt as if someone had mortally wounded me and they kept me alive as I slowly and painfully died. But the worst part of it was that all I could do at your funeral was stand there, staring with blank eyes as they lowered you into the ground. I couldn’t feel or see or hear and I felt as if my whole world was crashing down around me. I didn’t even know if tears were falling from my eyes or not. I didn’t know anything at all.   
It’s been a few months since you perished on the battlefield and people have seemed to forget all about your death. It’s as if you never existed in the first place. People have told me to move on and to forget about. But I can’t help but remember it! The scene of you dying my arms, of the light leaving your eyes, and me screaming at the top of my lungs have been forever etched on the inside of my eyelids. Every time I go to bed I see it! Every time I so much as blink, I see it! I can’t get rid of it no matter how hard I try and it sucks! 

At this point, I’m just ready to throw in the towel and say fuck it to this whole Summoner thing! But I keep going because I keep thinking about how much disappointment would be on your face if you saw me quit because of you. You keep me going every day and you’ll never be able to know how much your memory keeps me alive. Sure, you knew that I loved you, but did you know the extent of my love? You were the only one that kept me tethered to this world and without you here…I don’t know what I’m going to do. What am I going to do?

I’ve tried asking people who were close to you what I’m supposed to do, but they too can’t seem to come up with an answer. They all seem to be as broken up as I am and I guess in that sense, I’m selfish. Zacharias is the worst that I have ever seen him and Sharena…she never smiles anymore even on joyous occasions. I should look at other people and help them before myself, but how am I supposed to help people when I feel shattered on the inside? 

I want to tell you that the world is at peace even if you died, but I would be lying if I said that. We’re the most disorganized and torn apart since I came here. But I will make it through because this is all that you wanted and I will stand tall because you would have never backed down. 

Thank you…for all of the love that you have given me.   
I’ll miss you forever and always.   
I love you…my dear Alfonse. 

Love Your One and Only Summoner,   
Aviana

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is a little on the more angsty side of things...well a lot on the more angsty side of things. Bug I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Since Book 3 came out on the mobile game, I had to write what the Summoner would think or do when it comes to Alfonse's death. Though nothing is for certain yet, this is what her thoughts would be. Thanks again!


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